New Year

So, it's five days into the new year, and I haven't even written anything here. It's been a long time since I've been here. There is always so much I want to say, but then I never say it. The days go by in blurs. I really don't know what has really happened in the last quarter, but only the feelings of stress and happiness linger in my head. I hope to be back to daily randomness about what goes on in my days and less deep in wild dreaming like about my future and boyfriend and whatnot. I guess those things are just every girl's fantasy of having a nice boyfriend, getting married, living the rest of your life with the one you love... *sigh* I guess I've been thinking about this more and more since my brother got engaged and is getting married in August. I can only dream about a boyfriend because I am graduating and going to get a job, so a relationship at this point won't work at all. I don't want to have any attachments before I go to Japan. Maybe having a relationship wouldn't really prevent me from going to Japan, but it sure would be hard leaving him in the US while I'm there until god knows when. Perhaps forever? Haha...

Anyway, I've had the most wonderful time in Calgary. Got to see my two brothers and my brother's fiancee after a long time. The food was just absolutely AMAZING! Though, I've had enough food to last me about this entire year. Thursday and Friday was just filled with such good food. All of them were traditional Chinese dishes. My favorites were the crispy skinned pork, and the scallops. I had 4 huge scallops on Thursday night, and they were all bought the same day and cooked fresh by the restaurant. Man, the food was just really good that banquet. Everyone was stuffed until noone couldn't eat anymore. Man, I just feel full everyday. I hope this feeling goes away, because it's not a good feeling at all! >.<;;

Well, it's the new year, and everyone tells about goals and stuff. My only goal is getting into either Waseda or Keio language school as well as graduating. I really don't have any other goals. I do hope to meet new people and live my life to its fullest. Live one day at a time. I still struggle with many aspects of my life, but I am trying my hardest to accept them. It's been a long road to this point. What happened in life, happened. I just need to keep on pushing forward. There should be no regrets in my life. Some things will be out of my control in life, but I just have to take them and accept them. Love myself. Smile.