Things....

I probably won't be able to sleep for a while as there are a lot of things on my mind at the moment. So, I'm just going to sit here and rant everything out so that I will become tired and hopefully sleep better.

• VISA
  

First thing on my churning in my small brain is the whole situation of going to Taiwan. I know I'm already pessimistic about the whole situation as my dad doesn't listen to me at all. He has it stuck in his head that he can find a way for me to go to Taiwan. Here's the deal. I can't go out of the country. Here's the list:

1. I won't be able to get my pre-college visa in time to return to Japan. If I go out of Japan, I'll have to get my visa at a Japanese embassy outside the country. Usual turnaround time for getting a visa is a week. I'm going to be in either Hong Kong or Taiwan only for a few days. There's no way that I'll be able to get my visa in time to come back to the US.

2. I can't obtain a entry permit in time to go out of the country. Actually the "in time" is more like "can't obtain one period." Although I will have my actual visa in my passport at the end of the year, school will not issue a re-entry coupon to me because I won't be considered a student on the visa until Jan 8th, 2010.

So, I'm actually going to be stuck in Japan. I know that there's going to be a huge showdown on this whole visa issue. I'm not looking forward to arguing with my dad on this whole issue that it's not possible for me to go. He's not going to believe me. I don't think in my entire life he's believed me once. I've already warned school that he might call on this issue. I can see it coming.... All I can say is... BRING IT.

• Taiwanese people

This is another topic on my head for a long while. I get angry whenever I talk about it. I was naive when I first visited, but now that two years have passed and I look back at the situation, they made a fool out of me. They will forever make a fool out of me. To the people in Taiwan, I'm an actual laughing stock. Here's why:

1. I suck at reading, writing, and speaking Chinese. So what if I use bad grammar and what not. At least I can speak it, write a little something, and read some simple stories after learning 3 years. It's funny how they learn English since grade school, yet they can't utter a single word. Who's the better human now?

2. I have a Hong Kong accent when I speak Mandarin. Now this one hurts. So what if I have a Hong Kong accent. My mother taught me, so it's only proper that I have a Hong Kong accent. Anyway, Taiwanese Mandarin isn't the correct accent. Go live in China and see who's the laughing stock then?

3. I was born and raised in America. My god, can we get any more insulting? There are lots of Chinese being born in America. Why does it matter? Is it because you want to show superiority that you were born and raised in Taiwan? Let me tell you something, about half the people I talk to think the grass is greener in America.

4. I love both parents equally. Now here's something you don't see everyday. At first I didn't get why people asked this question, but the more I think about it, it's because they want me to say that I love my dad more. Why? Because they have the worst image of my mother.

5. Everything is my mother's fault. I'll just list out the reasons:
a. She's Cantonese
b. She decided to stay in America and raise her children in America
c. She can't speak the Taiwanese way of speaking Mandarin
d. She didn't take care of my dad
e. She didn't want to raise her kids in Taiwan
f. She's the reason why my dad became ill with what we think is cancer
g. She's the reason why I became ill because she gave me too much stress and pressure

Come on peoples. None of these reasons are valid reasons to hate my mother, especially the last one. If anything, I blame myself for getting myself sick. I knew my health, yet I decided to pressure myself. It was my own doing. However, the biggest thing that makes me sick is that because they hate my mother, they look down upon me.... Can I say loser?

6. I can't speak Taiwanese. If anyone is to blame, it wouldn't be my dad. Go find him and blame him, not me. Not my mother. Dude, my dad is no angel. Come on.

7. I don't respect my dad for working hard. Wow, can we get anymore hurtful? Don't go around stuffing things down my throat assuming that I don't appreciate what my dad has done for me. Both my parents have given me a lot during this lifetime, and I can't thank them enough from the bottom of my heart. That's why I want to work so that both my dad and mom can finally retire and not worry about me.

Do you see why I don't want to go to Taiwan?

• Japanese studies

I had one of the worst tests in history. Completely failed this test. I have no idea how everyone else did, but everyone was saying that it was really hard this time. Hopefully I'll get something around 70... Although, I was surprised last test that I got an 89/100. So, I guess I'm not doing to bad in class. Though, at times I do feel a little lost especially during the reading. I think that's one thing to improve on is throroughly understand the reading. The reading isn't always the most interesting selection, but it uses all the vocabulary that they teach. I don't know how many vocabulary I've learned within this month and a half. I think I've at least learned 500 vocabulary as well as 100 kanji. I'm really happy that I've been doing well on my kanji tests. I only had one test that was a blunder, but that was because we had two kanji tests that day, and I couldn't think straight. Tomorrow I also have a kanji test. Hopefully I'll do well. Overall, I've been doing pretty well in class. I've enjoyed learning the language. The teachers are all pretty caring when it comes to trying to understand the language. They try to explain things in ways that will help us understand. I hope that I will attain at least some fluency after a year.

• Life

 Living in Japan hasn't been all that exciting as everything I do so far involves studying only. I really want to find a job. Once I get my permit for a part-time job, I'm going to go find a job right away. I've been meaning to try to go to the Origami Kaikan, but I feel a little shy to go. I will have to muster the energy to go down there with my broken Japanese and speak with people. Hopefully it will be a positive experience. So far though, most of the people that I've had some interaction with think my Japanese is pretty good so far. Even some of the old ladies that work in the restaurants I talk with are saying that my Japanese is already pretty good. Actually, it isn't. I think the biggest thing is that I'm afraid to say something wrong. I guess I just need to practice more and muster more courage to open my mouth more. I will get it down... "someday..." Err, yeah... "someday..."

• Cooking

Ok, I'll admit, I'm one of the worst cooks in history. I really do try my best to cook at home, but sometimes I feel it's difficult as I really don't know what I'm doing. I feel a little intimidated to cook because I know it's going to come out a huge fail. I guess nothing good comes out until you actually do it. The other day, I made one of the worst fried rice in history. I'll just say that my rice came out all mushy because of I had too much in the wok and put in the egg too late, so the rice soaked up all the rice. I need to get that timing down... Hopefully I'll get the hang of cooking someday because I really do like to eat. I love eating good food. I wish I could cook like the chefs in the restaurants. Mmm... must find myself a cooking class. Hmm, sounds like a good idea... maybe I can get school to find something of that sort. Japanese cooking class...

Anyway, I have spammed everyone's reading list with this insanely long post, but it's all things that I needed to get off my chest. Now I think I will sleep very well tonight!

P.S. Time is 1:45am. Started around 11:30pm... Someone shoot me >.>;;